In our second blog in the Created for Community series, Racer Khurry Bullard reflects on her Race and all that it cost her. She laments about missing important family milestones and holidays and shares about the struggle of living in community. But then Khurry shares everything she gained from the Race and how with each thing she sacrificed, God gave her back even more in return.
Dear World Race of X Squad of August 2019,
I think I hate you. All the evidence points to that conclusion. Because of you, I have missed so much. Because of training camp, I missed my grandma’s death and funeral. Because of you I missed watching my brothers play football and basketball, one of which was a senior and I’ll never be able to watch him play again. Because of you I missed celebrating my grandpa’s 80th birthday. Because of you, I missed the birth of my sister’s first baby. Because of you, I wasn’t there when my other sister announced she was pregnant. Because of you, I wasn’t there to help my other sister move into her new house. Because of you I was the only one not home for Christmas and wasn’t in the Christmas picture. Because of you, I missed my sister-in-law’s college graduation. Because of you, I missed my brother and his wife moving out of town. Because of you I’ve missed multiple family gatherings and spending time with my nieces and nephews. Because of you I’ve missed visiting my two sisters who live across the country. Because of you, I’ve missed the comforts and familiarity of my own home and family. Because of you, I was put in hard situations, conversations, relationships. Because of you, I cried, sweat, traveled a total of 351 hours, lived in hard community, ministered when I myself needed ministering to, and on and on my list could go. Seriously, I gave up all of this for eight hard months on the Race? Guilty.
BUT I love you. I am so grateful you took all those things from me. I wouldn’t trade the past eight months for anything. You ask me if I would do it again and my answer is ‘yes, in a heartbeat’. Even knowing what I would miss out on, my answer remains emphatically ‘yes’. You showed me things for the first time I wouldn’t have seen elsewhere. You opened my eyes to the beauty, pain, love, and hardship that both the saved and the lost experience around the world. You taught me how to live in community. Like REALLY live in community. You gave me the opportunity to lead a team and go through challenges that strengthened my leadership abilities.
For the first time in my life, I saw first hand the power and moving of the Holy Spirit. I experienced It’s moving in my life and I’ll always thirst for more. You gave me opportunities to meet with my Father in special, beautiful ways. You let me see behind the curtain of what God was doing in closed countries, in poor communities, in rural churches, in small villages, in baby homes, in schools, in individual homes, in restaurants, in hospitals, in hostels, and so many other places. You gave me a platform to pour out all I have been given, but while I was trying to pour out everything, God was always there filling me back up until I was overflowing (shout out to my Overflow girls!).
You put me in the midst of so many faces uttering laughs, giggles, and songs. You brought challenges I couldn’t overcome so that I would have to take them to the Father. You created the circumstances I needed to allow the Father to take my fear and give me peace, take my timidity and give me confidence, take my loneliness and give me comfort, take my negativity and give me positivity. All of this and so much more. I felt like I had lost everything at certain points in my Race, but as Francis Chan put it, “When you think you’ve lost everything, God becomes your everything.” So thank you World Race for taking it all from me so that God could become my everything.
Who am I to have gotten to experience all of this? Why doesn’t everyone want to experience this? The Race is certainly not for everyone, but those the Lord does call to go and those who do the Race as it is designed and intended to be done (and yes that includes living in community, team time, and feedback) man, the rewards are rich and they are life-changing. That is why I will always say, “Thank You World Race!”